The week has been better.
My heart hasn't been bleeding and my wolf hasn't been whining, which meant I hadn't been having headaches.
Things with Ace have been good so far. He hasn't been pushy and I liked that. Maybe he thought that my earlier statement about not wanting a mate was true, and so he doesn't want to throw it all on me at once.
And I was grateful.
It's not that I don't want him, but merely because I still didn't know how to balance my two lives, and taking it too far with Ace too quick will only make me more distracted.
Aiden was still weary of it all, but he seemed to be happy that I was kinda happy. It warmed my heart that he was somehow supporting me despite the fact that I hadn't been honest all along. But nonetheless, he was still 100% mission.
Yesterday he informed me that we would have to start digging around soon, and knowing Aiden, his soon was less than two days. I still hadn't made any progress with my plan, but I made a promise to Aiden that we would execute mission as originally planned.
So as much it hurt me to be going behind Ace's back, I had to until I figured out a way to save my people and my relationship.
I threw open the door to my balcony that I've come to love, while the cool Saturday breeze whipped my hair all about. I pulled it into a high bun and watched as the birds sped by in their swirls of freedom. I smiled at the thought. Their life seemed so open and adventurous, free to roam without a care in the world. Just being happy with the ones they love, or even alone.
I aspire to be like a bird one day.
Someday.
It was sometime around ten in the morning, given that I got to sleep in today. Zack informed us yesterday that we would be getting weekends off, courtesy of my mate.
Aiden and I didn't protest. To Aiden, weekends off meant that we had more time to snoop around and study the people here. To me, it meant more time with Ace, whom I've come to love being around every time when we weren't occupied. I suspected that it was the same reason why he had us take the weekends off.
But here I was once again, stuck between using the new free time to be with Ace or Aiden. This double life was really getting tiring.
My stomach growled, letting me know it needed to be filled, so I ventured off to the kitchen to get food. I made myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, with some black coffee. I wasn't tired, but I felt in need of an energy booster.
Slowly and quietly I ate, while I scrolled through some random posts on pinterest, laughing ever so often at something I found funny.
"Good morning" I looked up from my phone and beamed at Ace, as he gently kissed my temple. I blushed slightly at the gesture, loving the way it made my body feel.
Throughout the week he'd give me small kisses on my forehead, cheeks or temple, and hug me once in a while. I loved how the skin to skin contact with him made me feel, but I never initiated anything.
It wasn't that I didn't want to, I was just a shy person.
"Want one? " I asked, gesturing towards the sandwich that he was eying.
"No thanks, I already ate" I gave him a weird and confused look, since I didn't know why he was looking at it. He chuckled softly.
"I want to take you somewhere, but I can wait until you're done"
I suddenly got excited at the thought of going somewhere other than the training grounds, so I quickly gulped down the rest of my breakfast, which didn't go unnoticed by Ace, making him laugh a little.
"Ready? " I asked and jumped from my seat.
"As long as you are"
We walked at a steady pace through the forest, laughing now and then at something funny that Ace would say. Around everyone else he was kinda stern, but with me he was always chill and vibrant.
Out of nowhere, he scooped my up, throwing my legs around his waist and holding my back. A yelp of surprise escaped my lips, which was followed by a bellowing laugh.
This was why I enjoyed being around him. He always made me somehow forget my messed up life.
"You're a slow walker, you know that?" He asked as he started to walk again. I giggled as he kissed the tip of my nose.
"I think I walk fast enough" I nuzzled my face in his neck to hide my blush. "Are you in a hurry?"
"No. I just wanted to hold my mate in my arms. Can't blame a man for having needs" He slapped my bum softly, making me yelp in surprise once again. But instead of feeling strange or uncomfortable, I laughed in delight, trying to ignore the twinge in my lower area.
"You'll satisfy those needs soon enough" I surprised us both by saying. Even though I wasn't looking at him, I knew it affected him, given that his steps faltered at my words.
The thought alone got me excited. I've never been intimate, nor have I ever had thoughts about it. But I've come to learn that with Ace, there's a lot of things about myself that I've yet to know or experience.
It made me want him even more.
"We're here" He announced. His voice was gruff and low, showing me that he was having the same thoughts as me. I giggled at how much I affected him, and pulled me head from his neck.
"Where did your mind wander off to? " I asked, biting my lip. Where did this boldness come from?
"You'll find out soon enough" He mimicked my words, which once again made me laugh loudly and the waves of my voice getting lost in the cool air.
I jumped from him, still laughing as I turned to see where he took me. My laughter immediately ceased as I gaped at the sight in front of me.
It was a beautiful open area, filled with small yellow flowers everywhere. The short grass was green and lush, complementing the flowers wonderfully. A narrow path was cut out in the middle of the beautiful meadow, stopping in front of a small stream that didn't look more than a foot deep.
I walked more into the area, taking in all that could be seen.
On the other sides held more trees like what we just emerged from, making the area look like a clearing in the middle of the forest.
The stream looked as if it appeared out of nowhere, but it went far down into nothingness. I suspected that it led to the river that marked the border of my pack, but that's the thing with nature; you never know.
"This is beautiful," I whispered, catching a butterfly on my finger.
"Beauty admires beauty" He said, holding me from behind. I leaned into his hold as I continued to admire the area.
"How did you find it? "
"I was angry one day, so I went for a run and stumbled into this. I've come here ever since whenever I'm angry, sad or just want to be relaxed." He told me, breathing out a relaxing sigh.
"It feels so peaceful and..... free" I whispered again, this time turning around to face him.
"You can come here whenever you want, with or without me, and do whatever you want to." He caressed my cheek with his thumb as I smiled widely at him, already ready to steal this place from him.
"You know what I wanna do now? " His eyes lit up with excitement at my question. He cocked his head to the side, indicating to me to continue.
Instead of saying anything else, I stepped away from him and pulled my shirt off. His eyes widened in shock, and I even shocked myself for not being shy.
He watched carefully and with anticipation as I pulled my sweats down. I smirked at him, turning my back to him and unclasped my bra. I didn't have to, but I was completely out of my mind today it seemed.
I heard a low growl from him, and soft footsteps coming towards me.
In a quick movement, I ran and shifted into my large white wolf.
My wolf had more control when I shifted, and she was more than happy at the moment. I turned around to see Ace, and his facial expression had me even more happy.
I thought he'd be even the slightest disappointed that what he must've been thinking wasn't what was happening, but I was wrong. He looked amazed and excited.
He watched my wolf in awe, taking slow steps towards me. I closed the distance between us, and he immediately brought his hand to my nozzle.
He smiled brightly as he ran his other hand through my fur.
"You're so incredibly beautiful Roxy," he whispered in amazement.
A lot of people always ogled over our white coat. Aiden and I were the same colour wolf, something my father said we got from our mom.
I wagged my tail and rubbed my cheek against him. He laughed shortly, but backed away and started to strip also.
From the back of my mind, I took a chance to completely drool over his rock hard abs and toned arms. If I was in human form, I'd totally run my hands over his body.
He shifted in his wolf seconds after; his toned skin now replaced with his dark brown and gray fur.
As expected, his wolf was bigger than me by a significant amount. Even though I was Alpha blood and my wolf was large, Alpha males are always going to be bigger.
This was the first time our wolves would be meeting, and it was obvious that we both were very excited.
The first thing he did was lick my nose continuously, which I followed shortly after. In my mind I laughed at the situation, our first 'kiss' was in wolf form.
He wagged his tale as he slowly circled me. Getting tired, I laid flat on my belly. His wolf took me by surprise by licking my fur in a grooming way.
Dad always said that the male wolf would always find the need to groom his mate, but it was lost in my head somewhere.
It felt weird being nurtured like this, so I jumped up and ran off into the meadow, hanging my tongue out and wagging my tail in a playful manner.
He picked up fast, chasing me through the large clearing, tackling me whenever he caught me.
After a few minutes of playing, I got tired and went for a drink from the small stream.
Ace, however, seemed as if he'd just started, darting after me once again. I shrieked in surprise, and ran off once again.
I couldn't remember the last time I had this much fun, or if I've ever had so much fun. I felt like I hadn't got a care in the world.
I felt adventurous and vibrant. Bold and fearless.
I felt happy and free, just like the bird.
***
"Are you hungry?" Ace asked while we sat comfortably under a tree in front of the clearing, with his back against the tree and me between his legs.
"Yes, but I wanna stay here a little longer" I admitted, snuggling deeper into his chest.
We spent about an hour in wolf form and the next two either sitting or playing like kids in human form.
It was just me and him for the past three and a half hours, and I knew it was the best three and a half hours I'd had in my life.
"What are you thinking about?" His lips brushed my temple as he asked.
"Just how happy I am with you," I admitted. "I never knew such joy existed"
He stayed quiet for a while, rubbing small circles on my hand.
"Does that mean you'll stay with me then? You know, after your mission and all" His voice was careful, like he didn't want to upset me.
I thought about it for a while, and I noticed that his body grew tenser each second that I didn't talk.
"I don't see why not" I finally said. He blew out a breath he was holding and held me impossibly tighter.
I guess when I find a way to balance both lives , and make everyone happy, I can be with Ace. Right?
I had no reason not to.
"You don't know how happy I am to hear that "He spun me around so I was facing him. "You'll finally be mine"
I smiled at his words, loving the thought of me being this happy all the time.
"I've been thinking... " He trailed, looking hesitant to continue, but I urged him to continue.
"I was thinking that maybe I can introduce you to my pack."
That, I wasn't expecting.
I had a little interior panic attack. What if dad hears about it? Surely everything would be ruined.
"Maybe we could wait a bit," I suggested as calm as I could. "We can just get to know each other first, then after my four months here is complete, I'll go back to my pack and transfer all my knowledge to a new trusted warrior, then I'll come back"
He looked deep in thought for a while, but then a small smile played on his lips.
"Whatever that makes you happy, ma cherie" A sigh of relief left me, feeling grateful for such an understanding mate.
Never in a thousand years have I ever imagined myself being so lucky.
"Thank you," I whispered, pecking his cheek.
"Anything for you." He held my face, staring at me intensely.
His eyes darted to my lips for a while, and I bit my bottom lip as my insides lit up.
His thumb trailed my lips as he watched me with so much want. My breath got unleveled and he seemed more and more rigid by the minute.
He slowly brought my face closer to his and my heart beat got faster. I've never kissed anyone before. Will I like it? Will I be good? What do I even do?
"You don’t know how long I wanted to do this" He whispered, then smashed his lips to mine.
The fire ignited in me instantly, but never burned. His lips were soft and sweet, as they moved slowly against mine. I followed in sync as we kissed in a beautiful rhythmic manner. Hell, I didn't care if I was good or not, but all I knew was that I've never felt such a strong connection before.
He lifted me and sat me on his lap so that I was straddling him. He reconnected our lips instantly, this time with more passion and want.
For a while I felt like the world around us stopped, like it was just me and him in this lifetime.
And in that moment, it was okay. I liked it with just us.
No one else, no problems, no pack, no brother and no damn mission. Just me and him.
And I loved it.