The lanterns burned too bright. The drums pounded too wild but Autumn’s heartbeat drowned them out.
"Kieran!!! I have to find Kieran. I have to see his face...What nonsense!!What nonsense what she spewing! Mad woman! "
She shoved through the throng, shoulders and elbows slamming into hers. Lantern light smeared into streaks of gold and crimson as her vision tunneled. Every breath scraped her throat...every exhale came back a thin, whistling croak.
"Move...please, move!I need to find Kieran...I said,move,morons! " She rasped and gasped her way through the dancers. They were blissfully shaking those booties and having the time of their lives.
"Where is he? WHERE IS HE?" The words rattled like stones in a jar until her chest locked...refusing the next breath.
The world tilted. Cold sweat beaded at her temples.
Breathe, Autumn, breathe...Too late. The edges were already blackening.
She pressed a fist to her sternum, fighting the rising tide of dizziness.
"Steady. I can’t fall.I can’t fall here!I need to find Kieran first. " A hiccuping gasp slid out of her lungs.
"Kieran!" She tried again...barely a whisper that cracked mid air. No one so much as twitched.
Panic was rapidly imploding.
Her voice rippled across the square, bouncing against stone, ripping through laughter...until the musicians faltered, notes skidding off key. One by one the instruments died. Conversation clipped off, laughter strangled, dancers froze mid step.
An ocean of eyes fixed on her. A torturous silence rushed in.
Autumn’s pulse hammered in the void she had just created.
Her breath rasped, too fast, too shallow.
"They are all staring.Am I making a scene?I don’t care...KIERAN.I need you. Kieran!!!"
She sucked in the air that tasted of smoke and sweet wine and kept moving...unstoppable, like a runaway train on shattered rails.
"Kieran!" her voice broke again, veins standing out in her neck as she strained...about to pop. Her face was red, her palm sweaty. "Where are you? KEIR..."
And then she saw him.
Across the open square, half turned away from her. Broad shoulders clad in a midnight black tunic embroidered with gold knotwork...his dark hair brushing the crisp collar.
The crowd parted around him like the Red Sea for Moses.
For one heartbeat that stretched too long,she could only stare...chest heaving...a quake traveled from her knees up her spine in slow motion.
He was dressed for a wedding... and looked like the perfect groom!
A sound halfway between a sob and a laugh shuddered out. She took one step, then another, but the ground felt treacherous, tilting under her boots.
"Kieran?" she breathed...softer this time, the name breaking on her lips like fragile glass.
He hadn’t turned yet.
Her next step faltered...a trembling pause on the threshold between fury and heartbreak and confusion.
The square held its breath, waiting for the collision.
Autumn stood there trembling...watching the man she had given her heart, her soul...now dressed for a future that didn’t include her.
Lyla? How could Lyla be alive? This was some sick joke! Had to be!
A jagged silence hung in the air, the kind that split ribs open. Her chest rose and fell audibly.
Something was breaking inside... everything...
"Kieran..." Her voice came out hollow this time. Not a scream. Not a demand. Just a prayer soaked in disbelief.
He had still not heard her.
Or worse...he had, and chose not to turn.
The possibility finally slammed into her harder than any blow.
Her lips parted, but nothing came out. Her throat was dry. Her legs felt like they were made of glass.
He knows. Yet he is still not turning.He doesn’t even want to see me now?
A dry, humourless laugh tore up her throat. "Is this it?" she asked the silence. "Is this the punishment ? You waited until I was halfway sane again before gutting me with this?"
No one answered. Of course not. This was her purgatory...and everyone was watching.
Her hands curled into fists at her sides. Nails dug into her palms. "You said you would come back to me," she whispered. "You said...fuck...Kieran! Why the hell did you say you loved me?"
She took a slow step forward.
Then another step. And another. Her knees shook but she did not stop.
"I lived as a living corpse for years when my sister died," Autumn said louder now, eyes fixed on his back like it might explode if she stared hard enough. "She died, Kieran. I watched the boat sink. I stayed there for hours... calling her name like an idiot until my throat bled."
Still, he did not move.
Tears blurred her vision. Her voice cracked again.
"You held me that night, do you remember? You said...you didn’t say you were going to replace me!"
Her vision cleared just enough for her to see the delicate golden crown he wore.
The ceremonial blade was strapped to his side. The garland of violet twilight blossoms draped over one shoulder.
Autumn staggered. Her body felt cold and wet, like she had fallen through ice...through that lake herself. "Say something," she begged. "Please. Just turn around. Tell me this is all a prank. I promise I won’t even be mad! Kieran..."
"Tell me you still love me like you whispered that night!!!"
And at last...at long last...he turned.
Everything else ceased to matter. The crowd. The whispers. The curious stares. None of it existed.
Her lips trembled as her gaze frantically searched his face for answers.
"Say something dammit," Autumn broke. At this point, even standing was a struggle."What’s going on?"
He said nothing at first. His jaw clenched, his eyes unreadable.
"I...I heard..." she swallowed, voice rising, cracking, stumbling over her own disbelief. "I heard... Is it true? Did you find my sister? " Autumn took another step closer, her fingers trembling as they tried to reached out, "Is Lyla alive?"