“Ah, I think I’m beginning to understand the fiancée thing more now.” Nina said.
He nodded. “Yes, I don’t harbor any illusion that Sam and Loveth are some great love match. I had Loveth, so Sam decided he wanted her. Loveth saw Sam's appointment to CEO as her ride into a life of glamor.”
“And were you and Loveth? A love match, I mean?” she asked gently.
He pursed his lips and blew out a long breath. “This is where I look like a jerk,” he said.
Nina chuckled. “Jerk? You? Surely you jest.”
“All right, don’t rub it in,” he grumbled. “I’ve admitted my shortcomings.”
“Do continue. I’m dying to hear all about what a toad you are.”She replied.
Her eyes sparkled with mischief and amusement. He’d never wanted to kiss her more than he did right now. Instead he found himself telling her stuff he’d never tell a woman he planned to take to bed.
“Loveth didn’t pose a challenge. That sounds bad but when I met her, I was devoting all my time to making my business a success. It was exciting and exhilarating. I exceeded even my wildest expectations. Everything was falling into place at the speed of light. All that was missing in my mind to complete the image of perfection I had built up was a wife and a family. Perfect house in the suburbs. I’d come home after a hectic day and she’d have dinner waiting. The kids would all be bathed and well behaved. Even the dog would be the epitome of good behavior. I wanted—still want—a woman who’ll put me first.”
Nina snorted, covered her mouth and then dissolved into hoots of laughter.
He regarded her dubiously. “I do believe you’re mocking me.” he said
“Mocking you?” She asked. She wheezed between words and tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. “Oh my, Julian. You do dream big, don’t you?”
“Well, it was a good fantasy while it lasted,” he grumbled. “I looked around and there was Loveth. I didn’t have time to figure out what my ideal woman was. I wanted my perfect life then and I didn’t want to wait. So I asked her to marry me, she said yes, I gave her a ring and that was that.”
“And yet here you are. With me. The fake fiancée.” Nina said.
He scowled ferociously at her only for her to dissolve into laughter again.
“Okay, so what happened? Other than Sam stepping in and being an overindulged twit.” She asked.
He liked this woman. She was good for his ego even when she was tearing it down, Julian thought.
“Loveth wanted to set an immediate date. She had a grand wedding planned.
Even had the honeymoon destination picked out. She littered my office with brochures. Hell, she even had our children’s names picked out.”
“I would have thought, given your fantasy, that you would have eaten that up with a spoon,” she pointed out.
“Yeah, so did I. Only I found myself backing off. I kept making excuses to extend the engagement. I was busy. This deal had to take priority. That deal needed immediate attention. Before I knew it, we had been engaged for a year with a wedding scheduled another year beyond that. And moreover I was content with that.”
“Did you never love her?” Nina asked quietly.
“No. No, I didn’t. Which is why I can’t really blame her for wanting out. Our marriage would have been a disaster just as soon as I figured out the reality didn’t live up to the fantasy I’d created in my mind. I just didn’t think she’d dump me for Sam or that Sam would have been poaching on my territory.”
Nina winced. “Yeah, I can understand that.” She said,
“I found them in bed, you know. How clichéd is that? The sad thing is, when I found them together in bed, I just laughed, because to me it was just the next step in an already farcical relationship. I washed my hands of them both.”
Nina's expression grew thoughtful. “Hmm, so you don’t necessarily object to the fact that she found someone else. Or that she cheated on you. Just who she indulged herself with.”
Julian nodded and rubbed the back of his neck to ease some of the tension and fatigue. Just talking about it raised his ire all over again.
“Yeah, it’s stupid I know. I mean, she could have cheated on me with my business partner, or my vice president or, hell, even my driver. I wouldn’t have cared. I might have even given the man a raise. But my cousin... My brother. My spoiled, overindulged brother. No, that was the one thing I couldn’t forgive.”
“Well, if their relationship is based on all you say, then I’d imagine they’ll suffer enough in the long run without you wishing them ill.” Nina replied.
He regarded her for a long moment. “You’re not going to lecture me about harboring childish grudges, right?” she asked.
She smiled, and those gorgeous green eyes cut right through him. She took his breath away until he was helpless to do anything but stare back.
“Nope. Not a word. Considering I have my own grudges, I could hardly chastise you for the same.”
“Oh, do tell. You sound so…..vicious. I like it,” he teased.
Her expression grew serious. Pain flickered in her eyes, and she turned away, her mouth drawn into a tight line. He was immediately sorry that the light mood had dissolved. As much as he wanted to know her secrets, he wanted to see her laughing and smiling even more.
To cover the sudden heaviness in the air, he got up to pour a glass of wine. Without a word, he offered one to her, and she took it, gratitude easing some of the tightness around her eyes.
He wanted to touch her so badly. Wanted to ease the strain and the unhappy tilt to her lips. He wanted to kiss her plump mouth until he owned her very breath.
He forced himself to return to his chair. The remains of their dinner was scattered across the coffee table. Some had fallen to the floor, but he wasn’t inclined to clean it up.
They sat there sipping their wine as evening fell all around them.
Finally he could remain silent no more.
He leaned forward to set his glass on the table. For a moment he looked down at his hands and imagined her flesh beneath his fingertips. Then he glanced back up to see her studying him with the same keen interest flashing in her eyes. She wasn’t immune.