Reid looked at her lips and then back to her eyes before clearing his throat and scooting away from her just a bit, and Melody was certain he was having the same thought she was. “Of course, I know we still need to take our time and not rush into anything. It’s only been a few weeks, after all.”
“Right,” Melody agreed quickly, wondering how her face could feel so warm when she was sitting outside in the cold. “I guess we don’t need to wonder how Michael will feel about it.”
Reid laughed. “No, I think his reaction might be a little different than yours when you found out about your mom dating again.”
Melody felt the urge to elbow him in the ribs but didn’t do so. She realized now she’d been acting selfishly, and she owed her mother an apology. In fact, she wanted to make sure she was home when her mother got back from her date so she could speak to her right away. Slowly, Melody was beginning to realize how other people were managing to let the world continue to spin despite her father’s absence from it, and she knew now that it wasn’t her place to force her ideals on anyone else, especially when she had been willing to make so many exceptions herself.
Michael’s laughter was so loud, they could hear it ringing through the air even across the lawn. It reminded Melody of how joyful he was when he was on stage singing, and she looked at Reid, the question forming on her lips before she had a chance to stop it. The words were almost out when she inhaled sharply, the moment of hesitation enough to make her stutter a few times and then close her mouth quickly.
He cocked his head to the side and gave her a curious look. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yes,” she nodded. “I just… I was going to ask you something, and then I decided it wasn’t my business.”
Reid cleared his throat and readjusted on the bench. “I’m sorry, Melody. I know how important church is to you, and I promise I will work on it, but it will be very difficult for me to even consider ever returning to religion.”
Melody felt her eyes widen. She hadn’t realized it was such a serious matter. “Do you mind me asking what happened?” she asked, quietly.
He ran his hand through his hair and shrugged. “I guess… I just decided after Rebecca left that any God who would let that happen, after I’d spent years doing what I believed He wanted me to, wasn’t really who I thought He was. Rebecca and I spent years actively involved in our church, and then He let her just walk out of our lives. So I decided to walk away from Him the way that He let Rebecca walk away from me.”
Melody absorbed his statement and turned her gaze to the expanse of undisturbed white in front of her. She could understand that. She’d had similar feelings herself when her dad passed away, and several times since then, if she was completely honest. “There were times when I screamed at God, when I asked Him how He could do this—especially on the day we celebrate the birth of His son. I get it. I do. But I came to the realization one day that I needed Him far more than He needed me. And it turned out He still had a place for me if I was willing to accept it.”
“I guess I’m just not there yet,” Reid replied, absently running his free hand down the side of his jeans.
Melody turned to face him now. “Okay. I can absolutely understand that. So I won’t ask you to go to church for Him,” she looked up, and then returning her eyes to meet Reid’s she said, “I’ll ask you to go for him.” She nodded at Michael. “You don’t even have to come to the service. Just come and watch him sing. You won’t regret it, I promise.”
Reid opened his mouth as if he would protest, but Melody cut him off. “Come on, Reid. Take a chance. See what unfolds. You never know when something magical might happen.”
That crooked smile began to play at the corners of his mouth. “Is that a Murphy Family rule?”
“That’s rule number one,” she replied, nodding. “And probably the best one of all.”
“How about I promise I’ll think about it?” he asked.
Melody nodded. That was better than nothing, and if that was all that she could get for now, she would take it. It still left room for another bit of Christmas magic. Reid pulled her in closer, and she rested her head on his shoulder, watching Michael dash around chasing a friend. The child’s laughter rang out in the air, and Melody could hear a song in it, clear, true, and just as beautiful as any melody she’d ever heard before.
* * *
Melody spent the rest of the afternoon with Michael and Reid, eating a late lunch and enjoying the sights and sounds of Christmas. Eventually, she’d decided she needed to get home so that she could speak to her mom, and reluctantly, Reid had taken her back to the house. There was no question of a kiss goodbye with Michael along for the ride, and Melody had simply squeezed Reid’s hand on the front porch as she thanked him for a lovely day and went inside. Secretly, she hoped she’d see him tomorrow, but she had no idea whether or not he would consider her advice and come to rehearsal. While she wanted to think he might, she knew it wasn’t likely. She was living proof that convictions were difficult to break free of.
Her mother’s car was not in the driveway yet, but she wasn’t sure if that meant she wasn’t home yet or that she hadn’t stopped off to get her car as planned. She hung her coat on a hook by the entryway and slipped out of her boots before making her way to the kitchen, where she expected her mother might be if she were home. She found it empty and decided to busy herself by cleaning up a little bit. When her mother came in an hour or so later, Melody had just finished unloading the dishwasher.
“Oh, it looks nice in here. Thanks, honey,” Sarah said, leaning against the kitchen counter. “How was Santa?”
“Good, Mom,” Melody replied, crossing the room to face her. “How was Mr. Haywood?”
Sarah’s smile broadened. “We had a nice lunch. We got so busy talking, we completely lost track of time.”
“That’s nice,” Melody said. Taking a deep breath, she added, “Mom, I’m sorry about how I reacted last night. It wasn’t fair of me. If you’re ready to try dating again, who am I to tell you not to?”
Sarah seemed surprised at first, her eyebrows rising a bit, before her smile returned and she lovingly patted her daughter’s hand. “Thank you, Melody. That means a lot to me.”
“You’re welcome, Mom.”
Crossing around the counter, Sarah wrapped her arms around her daughter and kissed her forehead. “Sometimes the song in your heart is louder than the words in your head, darling, if you’ll only allow yourself to listen.”
Melody was still stammering for words when her mother patted her on the shoulder and went back out the way she had come. While Melody was certain she knew exactly what her mother was saying to her, she hadn’t realized that her mom had also been ignoring her heart, and she wondered just how long the concern for her daughter had prevented her mother from moving on. Sighing, Melody rested her hands on the counter and prayed that she would have the strength to try to listen to her own song again. Maybe, if she really concentrated on it, the music inside of her could set her free from the prison she’d constructed for herself built on convictions she now realized had less to do with her father than they did her own insecurities.